Behind The Scenes
by shadowjack12345
Summary: A new story! Stuff happens. You'll have to read it to find out what ;) First chapter is more of a little teaser.
1. Opening Credits

**Behind The Scenes 1 - Opening Credits**

**Well! Here we go again. This opening is more like a teaser, setting up the story to come. Its an idea I've had for some time and am ready to start writing it. I expect it will take some time so I hope I don't overtax your patience. Let's go!**

**Oh, and I don't own the Titans or profit from this story.**

A dark room. It is filled with the sound of polite but enthusiastic applause. As light pierces the shadow, it becomes clear that there is a sign attached to the ceilng, blinking on and off. It merely says 'Applause'. There is no visible audience. All of a sudden, a set is illuminated, looking everything like the American Dream of the 50s: a tidy, pastel living room no doubt connected to a tidy, pastel house. Music begins, a warming but typical score with strings and harps. A voice rings out to address the invisible audience.

"_Hello and welcome, one and all, to another episode of... __**Happy Campers**__!"_

The "crowd" cheered, whistled and made merry. The voice returned.

"_Aaaaaand here he is, the man of the house: Mr Tom Camper!"_

The front door opened, allowing a young man to enter. He wore a sharp but old-fashioned grey suit, complete wih hat. It rather complemented his green skin. With a stammer and flushed cheeks, he spoke loudly.

"H-Honey! I'm hoooome!"

"_And waiting for him, the woman of his dreams: Mrs Lucy Camper!_"

From the kitchen, in stepped a young woman wearing a blue, polka-dot dress with a fairly conservative neckline and a wide skirt past her knees, accentuated by a wide, white belt, white pumps and a white flower in her violet hair. Even her grey skin seemed to add to her beauty. With a stubborn glare and folded arms, eventually she spoke, much to the joy of the "audience".

"Welcome home...(sigh)... darling."

**INSERT TEEN TITANS THEM HERE!**

**That's all you're getting for now, more to come fairly soon, I hope ;)**

**-Jack**


	2. Flashback

**Behind The Scenes 2 - Flashback**

**Well, the teaser got some attention. Which is good! Now we get to see how they got themselves in such a predicament...**

"TITANS, GO!"

Robin's cry filled the space of the empty movie theater, his compatriots leaping into action. Derisively and perhaps unwisely, their foe laughed at them in mockery.

"_Titans go, Titans go!_... Go wherever and do whatever you like, Titans. You will fall and taste defeat at the hands of your arch-nemesis: Contrroool Frrrrrrreak!" He laughed again, pointing his remote at several small televisions he had set up in defence. Starfire was assailed by a squadron of miniature X-Wing fighters. Beast Boy would have been anxious to see if one of them contained a mini-Luke Skywalker if he wasn't being pursued by an artistically-exaggerated-in-size velociraptor. Robin was challenged to a duel by none other than the Witch-King of Angmar and ducked and swerved around his heavy mace. Cyborg was exchanging blows with Atom, a boxing robot. Raven found herself under attack by a brace of flying monkeys and, as she dodged, she curled a lip at them.

"Is this a witch joke?", she muttered. With a thought, blades of black energy appeared in front of each apparition and sliced them neatly in half. The disjointed parts dissolved into static before vanishing altogether. She examined the other enemies around them. "Okay... time to change the channel." She rocketed towards Cyborg and, with a not insubstantial effort of will, conjured a box around the fighting robot, Atom. She clenched her jaw and shut her eyes as the box compressed, compacting the robot like a car at a scrapyard. Her magic dissolved and a neat metal cube dropped to the floor, dissolving soon after. Cyborg looked at Raven, impressed.

"Nice one, Rae-Rae!" he cheered. Raven sighed.

"Don't call me that. Let's help the others" They moved towards Beast Boy and as he weaved, Cyborg was able to get a clean shot, eliminating the simulated predator.

"Whoo! Thanks, dudes. The movie versions are way scarier than the real ones," Beast Boy said.

"There's a difference?" Cyborg asked.

"Oh yeah, the real 'raptors were only-"

"Do you mind?" Raven said, interrupting Beast Boy. "We should probably help Robin and Starfire before we discuss paleontological accuracy in cinema. Cyborg, you get whatever Robin's fighting and I'll-"

"Wait!" Beast Boy cried. Raven jerked and looked at him in surprise. "That's the Witch-King, dude! He can't be killed by-"

"By a man," Raven agreed. "So that's what the movie version looks like? Hm. Not bad," she muttered under her breath. "Okay, I'll go after the Witch-King, you help Starfire." With that, the three of them leapt into action. Beast Boy leapt into the air as a gorilla, attempting to grab the miniature spacecraft out of the air with limited success. Cyborg took careful aim and blasted them one at a time. Raven approached Robin carefully, listening to the Witch-King's bluster.

"You think to slay me? No man can do so," he hissed. Raven alighted in front of him, conjuring herself an ebony sword with a dangerous smirk on her face.

"No man am I, you look upon a woman!" she said, stabbing the sword into the face of their enemy. The fake Nazgul shrivelled up and faded away and, though the effect was far weaker, Raven felt weakness and numbness in her arm. "Should have remembered that," she mumbled. Her attention was caught when Robin cried out.

"TItans, take cover!" Raven looked up: Control Freak was pointing his remote at the gathered heroes. They all scattered and dived for cover - except Raven. Her experience with the Witch-King had left her fatigued and, as she tried to move, she stumbled and fell. As she struggled to her knees, she heard two things at once: the tell-tale sound of Control Freak's remote and the voice of Beast Boy.

"Raven, look out!" he cried, throwing himself towards her. Everything turned red... then faded to nothing. Control Freak stamped his feet in frustration: he had hoped to get all of them at once. His tantrum was stopped short by Robin, who grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back.

"Where are they?!" he growled.

"Uhhhhh... Rob? I found 'em," Cyborg said uncertainly. Robin looked up. A TV connected to some unidentifiable technology was showing an old sitcom. There was Raven, looking grumpily at a nervous but grinning Beast Boy.

"Welcome home...(sigh)... darling."

Raven awoke with a groan. Her head hurt. Her arm hurt. Her knees hurt. _Everything _hurt. She opened her eyes and immediately squeezed them shut again: her vision swam and made the pain in her skull burn even brighter. Slowly, the pain lessened to a dull throb, and she dared to crack open her eyes. They opened wide in subsequent confusion. The movie theater was gone, replaced by a living room so bright and cheerful it made Raven physically sick. The doors were all white, along with the window-frames and stairway. The walls were all pastel blue and the furniture was art deco in matching colours. Raven pushed herself to her feet and was horrified at herself: she was wearing a dress, blue with polka-dots. She stammered uselessly for a moment when a nearby sound put her on alert. She relaxed when a green face appeared over the back of the couch.

"Oh man... what'd he hit us with?" he asked. His eyes opened. "... Why are you wearing a dress?" He stood up. "_Why am I wearing a suit_?" Suddenly, he started patting himself, looking for pockets. Raven pinched the bridge of her nose.

"What are you doing, Beast Boy?" she asked wearily. He didn't pause.

"Seeing if I got my communicator," he answered. Raven supposed that was a reasonable course of action, though she doubted they- "I need to take a snap of you in that dress! No-one will believe it otherwise." Raven retracted her unspoken statement.

"Never mind that, we need to work out where we are," she said, looking around her. Beast Boy gave up his search and did the same.

"Oh..." he mumbled. Raven waited for him to elaborate. He didn't.

"What?" she asked. He chuckled nervously.

"I uh, I think I know where we are. And why we're wearing these clothes," he said, carefully. Raven waited for him to continue with an impatient glare. "This looks like the house from Happy Campers. It's an old sitcom. Looks like I'm cast as Tom and it looks like you're..." his voice faded into an unintelligible murmur.

"I'm a what?" Raven asked. He swallowed.

"You're Lucy. Tom's wife," he squeaked. Raven didn't move but somehow appeared ready to tear him limb from limb as the bearer of bad news. Nothing happened. Raven looked around herself.

"Why... why did nothing explode?" she wondered. Beast Boy, following her line of thought, attempted to shift. Nothing.

"Guess our powers are nixed for now. I wonder what- _Oooowwww!_" he said, clapping his hand to his forehead. Raven forgot her ire and moved to his side.

"Beast Boy! What is it?" she asked. He shook his head, his eyes closed.

"It's my head. It's killing me! And for some reason, I want to..." he didn't finish but started walking toward the door. He sighed in relief. "I want to go outside. The pain is going. He watched with sympathy as Raven mimicked his earlier pose, suffering her own pain.

"And, for some reason, I want to go to the kitchen," she ground out. "And I somehow know where it is." She started walking, the pain vanishing. "It must be Control Freak. If we don't follow the events of the show, we get... _prompted_." Beast Boy nodded, concluding much the same. Their conversation was halted as he exited the house and she disappeared into the kitchen. The colour was different: the walls and furniture all yellow with white cupboards and appliances. She heard the announcer introducing the show, then Beast Boy. Then, with an air of defeat, she pushed through the door and delivered the line that appeared in her head.

"Welcome home...(sigh)... darling."

**Ta-da! Okay, we all on the same page now? Excellent! A little short but now the premise is set, the story can begin in earnest. I hope you're enjoying it so far!**

**-Jack**


	3. Exposition

**Behind The Scenes 3 - Exposition**

**Let's get back into it! Sorry for the delay, I had a busy time at work and my imagination was getting no energy :/**

"Welcome home... (sigh)... darling."

After Raven finished speaking, they were surrounded by recorded applause for several moments, the noise afterward fading into silence. Raven cleared her throat.

"Well... that was mortifying," she said, matter-of-factly. Beast Boy laughed nervously.

"Ha... yeah." Raven turned away from him to once again examine their surroundings.

"If we're following the show, why are we able to speak again?" she pondered out loud. Unexpectedly, she got an answer.

"The intro ended there, usually. I'm guessing in the time between actual scenes, we're free to do whatever, like the show is just highlights of what we're doing," Beast Boy said, following Raven's example and looking around himself. Raven herself had snapped her attention to him.

"That... actually makes sense," she said, trying to hide her surprise. Beast Boy smiled and looked back at her, flushing under the rare praise.

"Well, I was just thinking about how we were us and then we got our "cues". Made sense that we get prodded into the right places for whatever scene is coming up next. Raven nodded, still impressed. With a grumble, Raven felt the weight in her mind of the unseen controlling force. Before her head began to ache, she turned back into the kitchen. Confused, Beast Boy followed her. Raven apprached the refrigerator but was able to glance back at him, similarly confused.

"You aren't feeling anything?" she asked. He shook his head. "Hm. Why just me?" she wondered, the answer becoming all to clear as she mechanically began gathering ingredients. "Oh Azar... I'm going to cook dinner!"

...

"Ummm... wow!" was all Beast Boy could say. Raven had begun expertly preparing her ingredients with a mildly astonished smile. Her one and only attempt at cooking had been the disastrous pre-apocalypse pancakes she had served her team before the rise and subsequent fall of Trigon the Terrible. She had never even entertained the idea of trying again, though she occasionally wished her pancakes had been more successful. Now she watched as her hands deftly sliced, peeled and diced the food before her, hoping she might retain some of the skills. She was still definitely going to punch Control Freak in the face, though. Her fascination turned to uncertainty, however, as she began preparing the next ingredient: turkey. She managed to glanceat Beast Boy, who was looking fearfully at the meat in her hands. Even without her powers, she could sense his unrest: he was going to be forced to eat meat. Even as her hands continued to work, she watched him and spoke.

"Beast Boy..." she began.

"I'm gonna be sick," he murmured, swallowing the bile at the back of his throat. Raven shook her head.

"Beast Boy, it isn't real. It isn't meat!" she tried. He didn't even look at her.

"What? But it's got wings and legs and bones and-"

"Think, Beast Boy! We're in a TV show. We're in a simulation, nothing here is real. My dress, your suit, this house and this food. It's all synthetic," she said, noting with relief that his eyes grew less panicked as he listened. He nodded tiredly.

"Yeah... yeah, you're right. It's not real," he mumbled.

"It isn't real," Raven repeated. "In fact, it's more like I'm trying your food: fake meat." His eyes finally moved from the food to look at her face, his ears pricked in surprise at Raven's attempt at a joke. He smiled broadly.

"Ha! Good one, Rae!" he laughed. Raven smiled and turned away, wishing for her hood. Later, the pair felt the pressure at the back of their minds and took their places at the dinner table. As they ate, the applause and laughter returned as they bantered about "Tom's" day at work, which hadn't actually happened. It was a bizarre experience, talking animatedly about something they didn't actually know about, the facts and names just spilling from their mouths. Raven was conflicted as she had been about her time in the kitchen: she had never been able to laugh so freely and was partly glad to experience it... but the laughter wasn't her own. It was forced upon her and, without that choice, it was utterly offensive. In one thing, however, she felt no conflict.

She was _definitely_ going to punch Control Freak in the face.

_**CONTROL FREAK'S "LAIR"**_

Cyborg stood silently, examining Control Freak's equipment with his electronic eye. He was being expecially thorough and had stood, still and silent, for five straight minutes. Finally, he moved, turning to face Robin and Starfire.

"Well, I know one thing: this tech ain't from Earth," he said. Robin glanced at Control Freak than back to Cyborg.

"Not from Earth? Any idea where it came from?" he asked. Cyborg shook his head.

"Not yet, I need to get closer, but I don't wanna start taking anything apart or hitting buttons while BB and Rae are..." his words trailed off as he turned to the screen. Beast Boy and Raven were having dinner. A turkey dinner. He swore he could see his friend's discomfort in his eyes. He turned and marched toward Control Freak, grabbing his collar and lifting him from the ground, his legs swinging helplessly.

"Cyborg!" Starfire yelped. Cyborg held up his other hand, warding off his colleagues.

"You made my friend eat meat. _You_ made my _vegetarian friend. Eat. Meat_!" he growled. Control Freak cowered. "Just so we're clear, I would very much like to hurt you. And it wouldn't be hard." With that, Cyborg grabbed a nearby piece of hardware from a parts shelf. With no effort, he crushed it in front of Control Freak's nose, eliciting more terrified whimpers. Cyborg tossed the villain aside and returned to his work. Starfire breathed a sigh of relief. She floated to Cyborg's side while Robin none-too-gently lifted Control Freak to his feet.

"Your indignation on your friend's behalf does you credit, Cyborg," she said. Cyborg glanced at her, at the floor and back at the machinery.

"Maybe. Sorry I lost it there, Star. I know I'm always messin' with him about what he eats but... some lines shouldn't be crossed, y'know?" he replied.

"I do know," Starfire agreed. "But I must ask that you leave the Control Freak undamaged. At least until we have retrieved out friends. Then you may damage him." Cyborg snickered at her, saying that with a huge, innocent smile on her face.

"I'll try, Star. I'll tr-... Oh, man," Cyborg said. Robin stepped closer.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I've worked out where the tech is from. The materials are from Earth, so I think it was actually made here, but it's a copy of alien tech with some genuinely extraterrestrial parts in the mix," he reported.

"Copied from..." Robin hinted. Cyborg turned to stare incredulously at Control Freak.

"A Mother Box. Control Freak has a Mother Box."

_**THE CAMPER RESIDENCE**_

"Tom" and "Lucy" finished their dinner, still chatting. Beast Boy rose to his feet, his plate in hand, heading for the kitchen. With a blush of sudden realisation, he stopped next to Raven.

"Dinner was perfect, sweetheart. Thanks," he said, easily, leaning down and pecking her on the cheek. For her part, Raven tipped her head to permit him. Beast Boy vanished into the kitchen and the weight vanished: they were themselves again. Raven flushed scarlet, her hand pressed to her cheek. Beast Boy was in much the same state in the kitchen. Raven paced around the small dining table: she shouldn't have been so surprised, they were cast as a married couple after all. It left her with a bigger, terrifying question, though: what else would they be made to do? Beast Boy emerged, stammering apologies, insisting he should have remembered that was going to happen.

"We should both have expected something like that. We're playing at husband and wife," she said. His words gave rise to another question: "You know this show?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "I remembered my parents watched this show, even if I couldn't remember much about it. My mom - my adoptive mom, Rita - she helped me find it. She watched it with me, too, the whole series. I should have realised, Rae... it's just kinda different from the inside. I know where we are now, though. I think I can remember most of what happens down the line." Raven nodded. This was helpful. Without warning, the weight returned, gently urging them into place.

"I... I want to go upstairs," Raven said.

"Me too," Beast Boy agreed. "Must be time to film the bedroom scene." Raven regarded him with wide and panicked eyes.

"W-_what_?!" she shrieked. Her brain stalled. She had just been wondering what they could be made to do... could they-... would they-... would _Beast Boy-_

"Oh sh- Raven no! That is _not_ what's happening!" Beast Boy shouted. Raven looked over her shoulder at him as the weight grew heavier and she began to ascend the stairs. He followed, his flailing arms at odds with his measured steps.

"Tell me!" she demanded. He took a breath - he needed to say this right.

"The show... it was super-conservative! There's no s-sex, no nudity... they only filmed one episode with an actual kiss and it never got aired. Nothing like that will happen, Raven," he insisted. Raven shuddered with relief. They reached the bedroom and Beast Boy elected to wait outside while Raven changed, enduring a slight headache. Raven told him he could enter and saw she had hidden in the en suite bathroom so give him his own privacy. He quickly changed into the blue pajamas he found in the closet. He called out to Raven when he was decent. She walked in, eliciting an amused smile from the changeling. She wore a floor-length nightdress with a neckline that was genuinely around her neck. She smirked but glared at him all the same. He wordlessly raised his hands in surrender and moved to his bed, a single and separate from Raven's. As he passed her, Raven reached out and held Beast Boy's shoulder.

"Thank you, Beast Boy. For putting my mind at ease," she said. He shook his head, smiling back.

"I should have said something sooner... but you're welcome, Rae. Thanks for helping me with dinner," he replied. Raven dipped her head in acknowledgement before releasing him and climbing into her own bed. Beast Boy found himself staring at a newspaper and Raven found her hands occupied again, this time with knitting, when the scene started. There were a few bad gags, some more idle chatter and a sickeningly obvious moral before it ended. They felt the weight sending them to sleep and tried to speak before it took them.

"G'night, Rae."

"Goodnight, Beast Boy."

**And there it is, the next bit. Not a lot going on but BB and Rae are finding their feet in this bizarre prison and the rest of the team are realising how difficult this is gonna get. A freakin' Mother Box?! More on the way! Read, enjoy and review ^_^**

**-Jack**


	4. Meet The In-Laws

**Behind The Scenes 4 - Meet The In-Laws**

**Apologies for delayed update. I'm lazy and stuff.**

Robin stared at Cyborg, his mouth open and twitching up at the corners in disbelief. It couldn't be... right?

"A mother box. He can't have a mother box, that'd be... that's-" he stammered.

"Impossible," Cyborg agreed. "But in our line of work, impossible is every weekend. The real question is _how_ he got it." Three hostile pairs of eyes settled on the villain. Even now, he attempted to negotiate.

"I'll tell you... in exchange for some time alone with the enchanting Starfire," he said, winking at the alien princess, much to her confusion.

"Enchanting? You are mistaken: I am not the one with mystical abilities, Raven is," she said. Cyborg glowered at Control Freak.

"You want a date with Star? How likely do you really think that is?" he fumed. Starfire, comprehension all over her face, wrinkled her nose at the idea.

"Um... no, thank you," was all she could think to say at that moment.

"Alright," Robin said, causing the other two to stare at him, dumbfounded. "You want to be alone with Starfire? I can arrange that. Just you and her and a locked door. You, alone, in a sealed room with a girl who can tear sheet steel like paper and burn a hole through concrete by looking at it. I can arrange that... unless you'd like to withdraw your offer and just spill everything you know." Control Freak, now in a cold sweat, swallowed what he assumed must be his heart in his throat and nodded.

"Sure... I'll tell you."

_**THE CAMPER RESIDENCE**_

Raven blinked the sleep out of her eyes. Her night's rest had been surprisingly... well, restful. She glanced at the bed near her own: Beast Boy was gone. She lay back for a moment and stared at the ceiling, thinking: yesterday had been a harsh lesson in the truth of their situation. She had allowed herself to feel safe, making dinner and having auto-pilot conversations with a similarly controlled Beast Boy. She should have known, given the nature of the show they were in, that nothing indecent could happen but for one moment, before logic set in, she feared it. That moment stayed with her, that sensation that they were prisoners. They had to get out. She flung back the sheets and swung her feet to the floor. Finding slippers and a robe near at hand, she went downstairs to find Beast Boy, in his pajamas with a robe and slippers, standing in the kitchen. He simply stood, staring at the appliances and cupboards, turning to grin at her sheepishly when he heard the door.

"Mornin' Rae!" he said. Raven frowned at him.

"Why are you just standing here?" she asked. He laughed, self-consciously.

"Well, it turns out that Tom doesn't cook on the show. Ever. So when I try and make something, I get that pain in my head. Unless it's coffee. I hate coffee," he said, disconsolately. Raven shook her head.

"Well, I suppose that means I'm feeding us while we're in here. You know this probably means bacon or sausages or some other cliche breakfast food, right?" she said. Beast Boy inhaled deeply and sighed loudly, looking defeated.

"I know... I thought maybe we didn't need the food if this is all fake or whatever... but I was _hungry_ when I woke up this morning," he confessed. Raven nodded, assembling some ingredients on auto-pilot. She had guessed wrong: she was making eggs.

"Hmm. Either we're just plugged into Tom and Lucy's appetites or it's somehow generating food for us," Raven tried. Beast Boy nodded, perched on a stool at the breakfast bar.

"Yeah, like a replicator," he agreed. Raven furrowed her brow.

"Replicator? I thought those were those robot spider things from that show with the soldiers walking through the water portal thing..." Beast Boy's brow knitted at her words, his face lighting up in understanding a few moments later.

"Stargate? SG-1? You know that show?" he asked jubilantly. Raven rolled her eyes, even though she had her back to him.

"You and Cyborg marathoned the whole show last week, I was bound to pick up a few things. But how is that relevant to our food?" she responded. Beast Boy shook his head.

"No, I meant the _other_ replicators. From Star Trek." Raven was nonplussed, so he elaborated. "Okay, in Stargate, they call the spider things replicators, right? Right. Well, in Star Trek, they had replicators on the ships that could make any food you wanted. That's what I meant." Raven nodded her understanding.

"I get it... I think. I don't know how you keep all of these franchises straight in your head," she muttered. He grinned at her back.

"Years of practice, Rae," he laughed. She smiled at the eggs in the pan. While not really paying attention, her hands had also cooked some peeled tomatoes and buttered bread for each of them. The little breakfast was assembled and placed on the bar. Beast Boy clutched his fork with more than a little apprehension. Unsurprisingly, he opted for the tomatoes first.

"Remember, Beast Boy: they aren't real," she said gently.

"I know... but they smell real," he mumbled.

"Why won't you eat eggs, anyway? I get not eating meat but eggs like this would never hatch into chicks - they were never fertilized," Raven asked. He reluctantly put an egg between two slices of bread and munched his sandwich with his eyes closed.

"Yeah, I know. Never been good at doin' stuff half-way, y'know? All or nothin'?" Raven smiled at him, knowing he couldn't see her. However, his eyes opened suddenly, letting him see her smile in its entirety. He did nothing but smile in return. Raven felt an electric and utterly unfamiliar jolt in her belly.

'_What the heck was that?_'

_**CONTROL FREAK'S LAIR**_

"_eBay_?!" Cyborg cried. "You expect us to believe you bought a freakin' mother box on eBay?" Control Freak cowered in Cyborg's shadow.

"I swear, I did! Lots of villains use auction sites as a cover for trading illicit goods. If you don't know what to look for, you'd never suspect. There are always normal items to send to people who try to buy the decoy stuff too!" Robin was suddenly very glad he had asked Cyborg to record their chat with Control Freak: this information would be very useful to them and their allies.

"Keep. Talking," he said. Control Freak nodded.

"Before I met you, before I was Control Freak, I designed my holographic projectors, a precursor to the emitters I use to generate the hard-light images of my 'minions'. I sold the rights to a tech company for... a lot of money. MIllions," he explained. Cyborg let out a low whistle. "I wanted to make the next step and needed a more powerful computer... I decided I needed something more powerful than what is available. On Earth, anyway. Eventually, I tracked down someone who claimed to have parts and schematics for a mother box: I could follow them easily enough, even though I didn't always know what I was building. The parts that were supplied were the key components, things no-one could hope to copy. It took almost all the money I had left but I got it... and built it. That's about when I decided to try the supervillain thing. Turns out I found my calling..." he said, wistfully. Cyborg snorted derisively while Robin shook his head in disbelief.

"You threw away a fortune and gave up technology that would have changed the modern world and made you richer than Bruce Wayne for this?" he said, waving his hands around at Control Freak's "lair". "For _this_?!"

"Well... yeah," Control Freak admitted. Robin slapped his hand to his face.

"This guy is even crazier than I thought..." he mumbled. Cyborg looked thoughtfully between Control Freak and his homemade mother box.

"Did you say schematics?"

_**THE CAMPER RESIDENCE**_

Raven and Beast Boy had finished their breakfast and gotten washed and dressed. Beast Boy had revealed that this 'episode' was set on a Saturday, so he didn't even have to pretend to go to work. They had played out a dull scene where Beast Boy sat reading a nonsense newspaper and bantering with Raven while she flitted around the set with a feather duster. And all to the sound of canned laughter. Raven decided again that she would punch Control Freak in the face. Afterward, Raven sat on the couch with Beast Boy and grumbled - the dusting had made her nose itch.

"So what's this episode about?" she asked. Beast Boy, now folding up the paper, turned to face her.

"Tom and Lucy's parents come to visit. Standard in-law conflict stuff. Nothing too traumatic, if I remember. Tom's come first and get their visit stepped on by Lucy's parents," he explained. As he finished speaking, the doorbell rang and Raven felt the pressure in her head. She stood and went to open the door with Beast Boy standing and waiting in the living room. Raven let Tom's parents in, not even paying attention to the words spilling out of her mouth. They looked a little familiar... perhaps she had seen the show in passing once or twice. Then she saw Beast Boy, standing utterly still with wide, frantic eyes.

"Dad? M-Mommy?" he whispered. Raven's heart dropped into her shoes.

'_Oh no..._'

**Oh deary dear! So much for nothing traumatic, BB! Suffice to say, I don't own Stargate or Star Trek either. In fact, would shows like that even work in a world that has openly alien inhabitants? We'll never know. Anyway, hope this was worth the wait. Enjoy!**

**-Jack**


End file.
